corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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