Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
