is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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