Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
