Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
