You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
