Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
