I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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