YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
