If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
