i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
