That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
