i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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