Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
