i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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