I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Randomize
