Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
