i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
