Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I think my vagina is haunted
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
