Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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