his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
