dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
