His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
