i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
