I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
