Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
