What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
