This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
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