hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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