Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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