Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
