Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
