I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
