Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
3 2 1 whiskey
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
