My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
