dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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