She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
