really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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