If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
