I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
