Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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