There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
