we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Damn victory sex feels great
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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