I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
