When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
