paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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