zippers are such a cool invention
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
