I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
