Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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