checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
What drink are we having for lunch?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
