kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
